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When you get to the end of the day and have not completed the most important tasks you needed to for that day, you will have to deal with yourself for not having done it. Commonly I hear people beat themselves up about it. Do you do that? But do you really know why you procrastinate? If you did, you might have a more constructive response towards yourself. Read on... When you procrastinate essentially you are seeking relief. First, if you think actually doing the task will be an unpleasant experience you will want to prevent yourself from having to experience that. Maybe you think you will be bored by it. Maybe you think it will take a lot of effort to pull together all the info you need to get started or that it will be too long or too complex to do, so the thought of engaging is overwhelming. Maybe it will remind you of how much you have let things pile up and it will be hard to face. Maybe you do not really know what to say to a person you need to call, so you do not want to put yourself in a situation where you do not know what to do. Second, it might be the case that you do not think that you can perform well on the task you have to do, and by not doing it you are protecting yourself from having to face and deal with your perceived deficit. Third, (and this happens a lot!) when you procrastinate what you are doing is trying to prevent other people from criticizing or rejecting you. The idea is that if you do not put your work out to other people, then you are preventing the opportunity for other people to comment on it negatively. Know this: its not just other people criticisms that you are trying to prevent - even more important is that you might be afraid that if you get negative feedback from other people, you will take it personally and end up doubting yourself. That would leave you in an non confident place, and stuck. By procrastinating you get to take control of the process - if you do not think you will handle their criticisms well, your logic is: then I just will not give them an opportunity to criticize, I will just put it off. In each of these cases, you are seeking relief from an unpleasant emotion or feeling about yourself. When you procrastinate you think you are getting relief, but when you procrastinate do you really feel free and easy, like you are truly relieved? Probably not! Usually you feel bad about yourself, and feel stressed you are not getting things done. If relief is what you are seeking, I want you to have relief! If you are going to procrastinate, then at least be intentional about it: Do not surf the net or hang out by the water cooler but feel that niggly voice in the back of your mind knowing you should be doing something different, that is not relief. Either get the task done and give yourself a real reward or else let yourself have the time off to truly enjoy, and make sure when you are back from your break you follow through to do the task. If you are procrastinating because you are worried about other peoples reactions, then the best use of your time is to focus on continually improving your core competence and on building confidence in your own value. If you are going to seek relief, then at least get real relief. If not, then seek results!
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Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. helps talented and successful people get out of their own way. She is a psychologist and executive coach for fortune 500 companies. Listen to her free training or grab a seat in her upcoming teleseminar: How to Stop Wasting Time www.endwastedtime.com
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